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Nazi-Devotionalien oder Aussteigen, einfach aussteigen

"Aussteigen, Endstation" sagt der schnarrende Lautsprecher, als die S-Bahn aus irgendwelchen Bahnplan-Gründen eine Station vor meinem Ziel hält. Obwohl ich in der richtigen Linie sitze. Ich schwanke kurz zwischen Heulanfall und Amoklauf, entscheide mich dann aber für's Aussteigen. Erstaunlich, wie feindselig der Ostbahnhof wirkt, wenn man da nicht hin wollte. Irgendwo einsteigen wäre jetzt gut, aber die teuflischen Mächte von der Bahnplan-Zentrale haben mich auf dem falschen Gleis abgesetzt.

Die reale Welt ist eben stahlkalt und geprägt von menschlicher Tücke & Bosheit. Ich sollte aussteigen, aber nicht nach Tahiti, falls es Tahiti überhaupt gibt, ich weiß es nicht, war ja nie da. Lieber aussteigen in eine virtuelle Welt, Second Life, sagt man, soll ja so gastlich sein. Voller Leute, die alle besser aussehen als im richtigen Leben und nicht aus dem Mund riechen. Einen Laden würde ich dort eröffnen, mit, sagen wir, Nazi-Devotionalien. Internet, jaja, rechtsfreier Raum quasi, und die ganzen Amis kaufen bestimmt gerne die von mir mit eingescannten Hakenkreuzen verzierten Jackentexturen.

Obwohl, problematisch, meine reale Restexistenz vegetiert ja noch in Munich, Bavaria, während Lord Kaliban II. in der anderen Welt reich und berühmt und sexuell begehrenswert wird. Da kann ich bestimmt nach bayerischem Recht verhaftet werden, wegen Nazi-Profitiererei. Ich vermute ja übrigens seit langem, dass Bayern insgeheim die Rechte an der Nazisymbolik hält und unter der Hand massenhaft Mein Kampfs nach Osteuropa verkauft, um das Haushaltsdefizit auszugleichen.

Was mich zu der Forderung bringt, die Rechte an dem ganzen Nazi-Kladderadatsch einfach an Microsoft zu übertragen. Das war's dann mit den Nazidemos -- die Gates'schen Anwaltsarmeen mahnen die NPD und die Freien Kameradschaften wegen Copyright-Verhöhnung ab, bis sie von Gottes Erdboden verschwunden sind und ihre Funktionäre wegen der Gerichtskosten in die Sklaverei verkaufen mussten. Das geht bestimmt auch schon, wenn die Symbole nur vage ähnlich sind. Aber ach, jetzt reden wir schon wieder über die Nazis, gibt es denn keine schönen Themen mehr im Jahre des Herrn 2007 in Deutschland?

Wir könnten zum Beispiel über Frauen reden, da kenne ich zwar nicht viele von, aber eine Meinung habe ich natürlich trotzdem. Man kann ja heutzutage so leicht eine Meinung haben, viel schneller als früher, weil unsere Gehirne so darauf getunt sind, aus winzigsten Infofetzen sofort einen Weltbildbaustein zu basteln. Bohlen ist ein VERDAMMTES ARSCHLOCH, weil er so gemein zu den süßen Unterschicht-Hupfdohlen ist, die in der absurden DSDS-Sendung auf einen Weg aus dem Elend hoffen? Klar. Bohlen ist ein TOTAL COOLER TYP, weil er den doofen Träller-Hühnern in der absurden DSDS-Sendung wenigstens die Wahrheit sagt, während der eklige Heinz Henn immer nur "Du bist suuuuper" kölnert? Klar. Alles geht, alles ist erlaubt. DSDS ist übrigens, wenn ich mal so kühn sein darf, nur deswegen so erfolgreich, weil’s wie Youtube ist – irgendwelche Typen, die vage an echte Menschen erinnern, trauen sich vor die Kamera und machen was Cooles, das ist gut, oder blamieren sich, das ist genauso gut. Der Eindruck der Echtheit wird noch verstärkt durch die Jury, die offenkundig nicht recht von dieser Welt ist und den Moderationsroboter, wie heißt er noch, egal, ist eh nächste Saison vergessen.

Besonders echt ist das alles übrigens, wenn geheult wird. Überhaupt wird heutzutage viel mehr geheult im Fernsehen als früher. In den 50ern heulten nur die adretten Ehefrauen in der Werbung, wenn sie das Essen haben anbrennen lassen, falsches Bratfett, ogott, und dem Mann nichts Warmes vorsetzen konnten, wenn der nach langen Stunden der Lohnarbeit gebeugt nach Hause kam. Viel geweint wurde da und in die Kamera versprochen, zukünftig das richtige Bratfett zu nehmen. Da hat ein Mann ja wohl auch ein Anrecht drauf, beim Eintreffen einen Schweinebraten vorzufinden und keine heulende Suse.

Vermutlich wäre es der sichere Weg zum Ruhm, einfach Heulvideos von mir und anderen Leuten, vorzugsweise Frauen, aufzunehmen und auf Youtube zu stellen. Carlo heult wegen dem Chef, Babette heult wegen den Männern, Sören heult aus Solidarität mit Schwarzafrika, ach, schön wäre das und so authentisch. Vielleicht sollte ich da gleich richtig einsteigen und eine Firma gründen, der Bedarf nach Tränen scheint in der Mediengesellschaft ja mittelfristig nicht abzunehmen. Millionen von Wagnis-Kapital warten auf mich, mit denen ich dann natürlich nicht nur das Heulgeschäft verfolge, sondern erstmal, zur Absicherung, eine Firma mit soliderem Geschäftsmodell kaufe. Nach ein paar Jahren Rumgewurschtels würde ich dann den Laden an die Börse bringen, und, naja, aussteigen. Das scheint ja insgeheim das Motto dieses Textes zu sein.

Web.log Kommentare

Eldersign, Dienstag, 20. März 2007, 23:16

Eldersign's Gravatar

Deine Idee dem Nazi-Kram per Copyright zu bekämpfen kam mir irgenwie bekannt vor. Vielleicht solltest Du mal den Batz (www.batzlog.de) kontaktiern, damit ihr eure Idee perfektionieren könnt. Hat nämlich Potential.

tOm, Dienstag, 20. März 2007, 23:50

tOm's Gravatar

ich hab heute auch tränen in den augen gehabt...
als ich die mulitplayer-demo von s.t.a.l.k.e.r. auf russisch gestartet hab.

und zwischen heulanfall und amoklauf steh ich bald, wenn eine demo von crysis noch länger auf sich warten lässt.

die idee mit dem copyright find ich übrigens auch genial ;-)

Martin, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 08:07

Martin's Gravatar

Wie machst Du das bloß, nach Deinem Job noch Böcke auf lange Schreiberei zu haben? Vermutlich magst Du ja, was Du machst ;)

Kleines Offtopic: Ich kriege seit ca. 2 Wochen bei Eurer Website 'ne Trojanerwarunung (Kaspersky AntiVirus):

gefunden: trojanisches Programm Trojan-Downloader.JS.Psyme.cz
URL: http://202.157.177.19/x/in.php?adv=2//Crypt.DCScript

Korrekt oder Fehlalarm ?

VG, Martin

Gunnar, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 00:21

Gunnar's Gravatar

keine ahnung. sollte sich mit dem relaunch erledigen.

Petra, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 09:05

Petra's Gravatar

_Den_ falschen Artikel hast du doch absichtlich eingebaut.

Cihan // DkH.Eve, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 09:57

Cihan // DkH.Eve's Gravatar

Ich weiß, ich weiß: Es ist absolut offtopic und abgenagt, aber kann mir bitte jemand erklären weshalb man auf diese Seite kommt, wenn man via google "youtube porno" eingibt?

Siehe log: 08:32 Google: http://www.youtube.com porno

Nülls, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 10:59

Nülls's Gravatar

Wenn man den Artikeö so liest könnte man meinen du hast dich doch für den Heulanfall entschieden ;)

Die Viruswarnung kann ich bestätigen habsch hier schon mehrfach gehabt.

@Cihan: Ich tippe mal darauf das, das an dem Artikel vom Thomas lag, bei dem es um die Bemühungen ging mehr Inhalt in Pornos unterzubringen.

gloomy, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 19:01

gloomy's Gravatar

Ah, Norman Bates hat Microsoft übernommen! ;)

Schöner Text.

Gunnar, Mittwoch, 21. März 2007, 19:34

Gunnar's Gravatar

argh.

Magnus, Mittwoch, 13. August 2008, 16:51

Magnus's Gravatar

Obwohl, problematisch, meine reale Restexistenz vegetiert ja noch in Munich, Bavaria, während Lord Kaliban II. in der anderen Welt reich und berühmt und sexuell begehrenswert wird. --> witzig, sollte einem aber auch zu denken geben ;) umgekehrt wärs doch besser.

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